This Guy!!!

Seriously?

Trust me. It's not that bad.

Viktor Frankl, the man who created logotherapy, chronicles his life as a prisoner in Theresienstadt concentration camp during WWII in the book Man's Search For Meaning. This should be required reading for anyone who has ever been born. If he can find existence and meaning in what he experienced, so can we all.

Maybe It's Not That Bad

I've been thinking a lot lately about how I will approach my work as a clinician. Next semester we are required to approach our cases through different theoretical positions. Anyone that knows me knows that having to decide on something stresses me the fuck out and I start to panic. I do this because of a deep fear of failure and I think that the decision I ultimately come to will be scrutinized by others and will not be the RIGHT CHOICE. What does that mean, anyway, the right choice? Social Constuctionist Theory suggests that we are the product of society and that we base our lives and decisions on these social constructs. This frustrates me because I wholeheartedly believe in this way of working and haven't noticed it until recently. I look back on my life and think that I should have figured this out a long time ago. That's the problem-the "should's" and "have to's" that run our lives. This makes me start to think about how difficult my life is and blah, blah, blah. It's never that bad as the guy down to street. And definitely not as bad as what society would want us to believe.

I feel like leaving it at that, but no way. I can't. There's too much to say right now. What's up with being judged anyway? I think that and feel that I will be judged for saying that. Are we even judged in the end? What is the end anyway? Are our lives simply just what we want them to be? Yes, we have to live by certain rules in society, but I believe that we all have the duty to create what is meaningful to us. I feel this way because I was such a product of the military society and just did what I was told to do. No way, anymore. No way.

Goodbye, asshole...

I thought that you would never leave me. The smell lingers somewhere deep inside of my soul-like the scent of something dark and foreign, unimaginable. I feel better without you near me, but you will be missed (sometimes). I think that is the reason I am here right now. I feel that so many things are lining up for me like a comet shooting through the night. It has to be the reason. It just has to be.
I didn't think it would ever come to this. The way you made me feel for the past fifteen years is something I will never forget. When I feel the feeling coming on I simply just sit there and let it pass through me. It's like the world and time itself halts and I am witnessing my evolution slowly twisting and grinding inside of me. It's not hard to let go of, now is it? Can this really be happening?
It sure as fuck is and it feels wonderful. Get the fuck out! Easy. Be nice. It's not his fault. That's what he's supposed to do. Don't pick it up. The hard part is over. Just don't pick it up. It really is that simple.
Good night, old friend. I have a feeling we are done for good.